A Good Deed A Day Keeps The PoPo's Away [EV]

The golden antiqued pocketwatch swung delicately on its matching short chain. Lilith held it up in front of the shop keepers face while absentmindedly chewing on a strawberry twizzler.

"How much is this again?" she asked.

"Two thousand." the shopkeep responded.

Lilith snorted. "For this little thing?"

He nodded.

"Alright." Lilith shrugged. Two thousand, two hundred, two pennies, what was the difference?

She handed over the watch and slowly finished her twizzler while it was being packaged. Alfonso, her butler, was sure to like it. And on the anniversary of his ex-wife's death Lilith really wanted to get him something special.

Speaking of good deeds...Lilith noticed the owner slip his ugly, hairy hand under his female employees skirt. Well it was time to give, Lilith squinted at the name tag, Sandra a hand. Lilith went invisible while she snickered at her joke and floated over to the rusty old pirate sword she had been eyeing earlier. Lilith went solid again to pick it up. Sword in hand she walked over to the owner.

"Excuse me how much is this?"

The owner turned to answer her question and Lilith swung. His hand came off with a satisfying squishy thudding noise. Blood sprayed over Lilith and Sandra. The shopkeep screamed his little old head off. Lilith picked up the bloody hand and handed -Lilith snickered in her head again- the appendage to Sandra, who was so shocked and horrified she was helpless but to accept it.

"You're welcome." Lilith told the woman.

Then she trotted back over to the shopkeep to pick up her watch. The shopkeep backed away with his hands up. She exchanged the neatly boxed watch with the bloody sword. Then Lilith addressed the shopkeeper with some advice.

"You'll probably want to clean that. The old man probably has AIDS or something else that made him equally as crotchety." Lilith laughed out loud. "Get it? STD's, crotchety, sexual harrassment?"

The shopkeep just stared, eyes wide and mouth hung open. The owner was still screaming in the background.

"Fine," Lilith frowned, "I'll be going then."

The little ring of an old bell tied to the top of the door accompanied Lilith's departure. She fiddled with the watch and pondered the Owner's behaviour.

People could just be so mean.